


Slowly Drowning

by ImmortalCoelacanth



Category: Subnautica (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Gen, PTSD, Pain, Self harm will also become a theme, Suffering, Survivors's guilt, There will be no good times here, Tragedy, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 18:19:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14836787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmortalCoelacanth/pseuds/ImmortalCoelacanth
Summary: The struggle to survive is a great one, especially when you are all alone. Isolation, trauma, and grief are his only companions on this alien world.This is the tale of Ryley Robinson.





	Slowly Drowning

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo I’ve been inspired once again (thank you Subnautica) and welcome to my newest story!
> 
> Just as a heads up this will not be your typical novelization of a video game. There will be pain, suffering, trauma, bloodshed, and plenty of glorious angst. 
> 
> If you’re here looking for a good time, you will not find it, trust me.

The screaming of his terrified shipmates is a sound that would forever ring in Ryley’s ears as he sprinted towards survival. The reports had just barely come in when the captain sounded the alarm, a mandatory evacuation. There was some sort of attack headed towards the ship, no chance of avoiding it.

 

There was no time, but everyone started running anyways.

 

The alarms were still blaring, the noise just barely heard over the shrieks that echoed throughout the metallic corridors and the sounds of dozens of feet running for their lives. The monotonic speaking of the alarm system is a stark contrast to the adrenaline fueled madness going on in the corridor.

 

Everything is chaos.

 

They all want to live.

 

Ryley keeps running and manages to make it to the front of the pack, jumping over someone who has fallen to the floor, their face a blur in his eyes, and he keeps moving. His breath comes out in desperate, panicked gasps and tears are beginning to gather in his eyes.

 

Terror makes his heart stall, but it also forces his feet to move faster than they ever have in his life.

 

He is the first to reach the Lifepods and takes a moment to absorb the fact that _this is happening I have to escape_ before he runs over to the closest pod.

 

He looks around and notices no one else has joined him at this Lifepod, clearly too focused on their own survival and not rational thought. A similar mentality has taken over him and he soon finds himself jumping in the metallic pod, sliding down the ladder and closing the hatch without any regard for someone who might be following him.

 

A cruel move, one that would damn anyone who had been hoping to join him, but there is no room for compassion in his pounding heart.

 

The bar slides down, strapping him into the chair the moment he sits down, and he hits the eject button, praying to whatever deity that is willing to listen that this will not be his last moments.

 

_Please let me live, I want to live!_

 

His escape from the doomed ship is rocky, and only grows worse as he notices some sort of beam of energy streak by the top hatch, visible thanks to the glass in it. He watches, eyes wide with horror, as the Aurora explodes.

 

There is a strange sort of beauty in watching the ship get destroyed, like the enchanting glow of a fire. One is aware of how deadly, how dangerous it is, but you cannot help but marvel at the way the flames dance.

 

Ryley wonders how many of his friends are dead.  

 

The resulting shockwave is powerful, knocking the Lifepod around like a leaf being battered in the wind. His head smashes against the bars holding him in place, and bright lights flash in his eyes, but he fights to stay conscious.

 

To his horror the fire extinguisher comes loose, smashing against a panel and knocking it free from its position in the wall. The two items rattle around on the floor, Lifepod still rocking in the aftermath of the explosion, until a particularly strong shake sends the panel up into the air.

 

The metallic slab flies towards his face and he desperate tries to avoid it, forgetting about the fact that he was stuck in his seat until the pod landed-

 

Then everything is darkness.

 

Ryley does not know how long the void holds him for, but he starts to rouse when he smells something in the sterile air. The scent is thick and heavy, clinging to his nose and making him cough due to its intensity.

 

He smells smoke.

 

_Fire-_

 

The thought is disjointed, rushed, as his eyes snap open and catch sight of the horrific blaze in front of him. He desperately hits the release button for the seat he is in, still choking on the smoke in the air, and soon finds himself stumbling out of it, nearly collapsing to the floor in relief.

 

But he cannot relax just yet, not with the fire destroying his only sanctuary.

 

He rushes over to the extinguisher and picks it up, taking a moment to recall how to use it amongst the panic flooding his mind. Once the nozzle is pointed towards the threat he presses the button down, sighing as the chemical filled smoke is expelled.

 

In mere moments the fire is gone, leaving Ryley breathless as the situation finally begins to settle in. He does his best to push his emotions to the side for now and takes a deep breath, ignoring the harsh scent of smoke that still clung to the air.

 

The adrenaline is beginning to fade, leaving him exhausted in more ways than one.

 

He forces himself to move, wading through the feelings that threaten to drag him down and pin him to the floor. Rather than check his PDA or the information screen of the Lifepod, he walks over to the hatch, ignoring the part of his mind that begs him to check and make sure the air is _breathable_ , and climbs up the ladder.

 

Once he reaches the top he hesitantly pushes the hatch open, praying the image he has been imaging in his mind is not true. He pushes himself up on unsteady arms, nearly falling back into the pod when a strange, bird-like creature flies in front of his face.

 

His legs are shaky as he stands on top of the Lifepod, tears rushing down his face as he takes the sight in front of him in.

 

There the Aurora is, broken and bleeding in the distance. Some sections of the ship are on fire and he can faintly make out the damage on the hull where the Aurora had been struck.

 

An alien bird cries, the noise echoing in the too silent ocean.

 

Ryley vomits.

 

The action results in him spewing out a chunky mess consisting of water and nutrient blocks, the last meal he had on the Aurora, into the ocean below him. The reality of his situation is crashing down around him and he wants to _scream and scream until his voice goes hoarse please someone save me_.

 

Once more he desperately tries to push away his emotions, tries to hold himself together until he can figure out what he needs to do.

 

 _Just breathe, I can get through this. I just need to_ breathe _._

 

It feels almost like a blanket settles over him, muffling both his feelings and the sound of the waves splashing against the hull of his Lifepod. It is with this mental shield that he descends back into the cool embrace of the pod.

 

In this state he is oblivious to the pain in his head and the ache of his limbs, all from the bumpy landing, and the horrendous taste of bile still in his mouth.

 

The shock is both a blessing and a curse.

 

Ryley knows he cannot allow himself to become overwhelmed, not right now, so he focuses on what he had been trained to do next, hands moving automatically as they grasp the tablet that would prove to be the key to his survival.

 

The Alterra jingle that plays when the device turns on makes the hollow feeling in his chest grow stronger, but he continues to ignore it. 

 

Numb, he listens to the PDA, hearing but not understanding the information the automated voice provides him with. He checks the other tabs, unseeing eyes scanning over the blurred words with an empty sort of acceptance.

 

This has happened. He is trapped on an alien planet with little supplies and no way to contact anyone.

 

_This is real._

But he does not want to accept this reality, does not want to believe the truth.

 

_It’s not real, it can’t be real!_

 

Conflict breaks out in his mind. He is torn on what to do next. Rationally it would make sense to go out and survey the alien ocean he had found himself in, but at this moment he cannot bring himself to think in such a way. Not when there is still some part of him that hopes all of this is just a nightmare, and that he will soon wake up.

 

Not when he still has who knows how many friends to mourn for.

 

His emotions come back, crashing down on him like a tidal wave and he feels like he is drowning among the sorrow and terror in his heart.

 

The shock that had previously blanketed him is gone, replaced by raw agony, terror, and grief.

 

The PDA drops from his hand, clattering against the floor as tears begin to roll down his face. His breaths come out as gasps, a desperate struggle to get air.

 

_He has to breathe!_

 

His flight from the Aurora, the crash landing, the fact that _all of the people he knew on the ship might be dead-_

 

It is too much for his already fragile mind.

 

Ryley finally breaks down, crumpling up on the ground as hitching, broken sobs escape his shuddering frame. All he can do is wail helplessly, voice ringing in the too empty Lifepod.

 

_Please be a dream! Please be a dream!_

He cannot voice these words, too distraught to focus on forming them and just cries instead.

_I want to wake up now! Please be a dream!_

 

He vision begins to blur and his breathing grows too quick. He knows this is dangerous for his health, remembering the first aid courses he had been forced to take before boarding the Aurora, but he does not have the strength to care.

 

The darkness grows stronger, creeping in on the edges of his vision. His chest is tight and he is _all alone-_

 

Ryley passes out, one coherent thought floating through his mind as he falls into oblivion.

 

_I’m dreaming, I have to be dreaming..._

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t really have an update schedule planned, then again I never really do when writing stories, so I have no idea when the next chapter will be out, but hopefully it will be soon! You guys can follow me on the social media accounts listed in my profile for updates on this story and if you want to ask me questions about it~
> 
> Of course please leave a comment telling me what you think of the story so far, kudos will also be greatly appreciated, and I'll see you all in the next chapter!


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